Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Re- Crafting Aldora's Writing

Today we practiced re-crafting a piece of writing. The first paragraph belongs to Aldora, and the second is mine.

Aldora’s Writing

“yeah” I said happily to myself. I was nearly there. I sprinted to the finish line and  made myself happy. I had a drink and then I had a rest. Looking down at my pretty purple and black shoes, it was all muddy and yucky.

Mary’s Writing
“Yay”, I sang proudly to myself. I was so ecstatic that I had crossed the finish line. As I walked passed the drinking fountain, I had a drink then sat down. Looking at my shoes, they were covered with thick mud. We all felt exhausted.
Aldora’s Cross Country Recount


  1. Wow! Mary,

    You re-crafted that story really well.
    I like how you changed some word and made it exciting. I loved how you changed the sentence beginnings.

    KEEP IT UP!!!!

  2. WHOOOOOOO Mary,
    WOW!!!! Mary that was fantastic that was amazing to read that felt like that was me but lucky me It is all ready past well done KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK.